What Have I Been Teaching You, Exactly? – Laurian Della (2014)

Laurian della:WHAT HAVE I BEEN TEACHING YOU, EXACTLY?
30 พ.ค.,2016 Jason

While my last post focused on some of the bizarre/crazy things that I have said to the children at my school, there have been an equally alarming amount of quirky statements made by the students themselves. Most concerning is the fact that all of these sentences were delivered in English- what exactly are they picking up from my lectures?

1.  Do you like Leo (Thai beer) or Full moon (Thai wine cooler)? These are 3^rdgrade students. How do they even know what alcohol is, let alone inquiring as to my favorite brand…?I most assuredly did not lead an English lesson on the mechanisms of asking one’s favorite alcoholic beverages, but kudos to them for getting the vocabulary and sentence structure correct.
2. You smell nice (stated whilst hugging me and placing her head on my butt, inhaling deeply). I’m fairly certain that my butt is the least nice smelling part of my body, but thanks anyway. 
3. Don’t stick your tongue out or teacher Jason will hit you. Having known teacher Jason for 6 months, I am fairly certain that he would not smack with a ruler for sticking my tongue out, but I appreciate this student’s sincerity and concern.
4. Student: You’re my girlfriend. Me: I thought teacher Penny was your girlfriend. Student: She is. I have two girlfriends now. *Proud smile*
5. (Said by the student from above) I just got a real girlfriend, so you can’t be my girlfriend anymore, but you can be my mom.
6. (To a fellow student, referring to me) Don’t touch her! *Whispers* You’ll make her skin black. I don’t think my students know how the concept of skin pigmentation words. Luckily they have gotten over their fear of turning me black (or of me turning them white) and now deliver daily hugs and high-fives.
7. (Upon seeing my shoulders when I was biking in my exercise clothes (tank top and basketball shorts)) *Gasps* Oh, teacher! *Touches shoulders with a look of shock* Yes, even though I am a teacher, I do, in fact, have shoulders.
8. You have a nice body. Uhmmm, thanks?
9. (Said to a fellow student) Haha! You’re going to marry a white-guy! Apparently this is one of the biggest insults you can deliver to a fellow friend. Yes, I’m serious. My students will insult each other with the prospects of future betrothal to a Caucasian male. Dark-skinned women (seen in Thai society as not beautiful- Light skin is highly valued in Thailand) have a lower chance of marrying a Thai man due to their (perceived?) appearance, and thus, many end up marrying ‘falangs’ (foreigners of European descent). Essentially, the taunts of “You’re going to marry a white guy” are equitable with “You’re ugly”. On a more positive note, the students always find it hilarious when I tell them that I probably WILL marry a white guy.
10. (After delivering the ‘mom-glare’ to one of my students who would not stop talking). Ooof, teacher- not beautiful. *Alarmed/disgusted face*